Dusting Off The Old Sports Almanac: Cedric Ceballos

Cedric Ceballos Throwing It Down

Cedric Ceballos is one of the most fascinating athletes profiled on “Dusting Off The Old Sports Almanac” thus far. I take that back, every athlete profiled here is incredibly fascinating. Ceballos might be the most unconventional of them all though.

You probably remember Cedric Ceballos as that sweet small forward on the Lakers who could dunk like none other. Ceballos consistently averaged around 17 points per game while grabbing around 7 rebounds each contest. Very respectable numbers that made Ceballos a great supplement to any team. From a team standpoint, Ceballos’ greatest achievement came in the 1992-1993 season when he led the league in field goal percentage completing 57.6% of his shots. However, Ceballos might best be remembered for his 1992 victory in the Slam Dunk Contest over the NBA All-Star Weekend. Ceballos sealed the deal with a remarkable blindfolded slam dunk (watch the clip of it here).

Much like Kerry Kittles, Ceballos’ legacy will be of a solid role player who was able to rise to the occasion when called upon.

What makes Ceballos such an interesting figure though is his post NBA career. Between 2002-2004 Ceballos played with professional teams in Israel, Russia, and the Phillipines. Upon the conclusion of his adventures around the world, Ceballos became employed by his former team, the Phoenix Suns, as the in-arena emcee and host of a weekly webcast entitled “Nothin’ But Net.” Ceballos’ enthusiasm for public address continued as he hosted a morning music program at a Phoenix R&B radio station.

The fun doesn’t stop there though. Ceballos teamed up with hip hop star Warren G in 1994 on a track entitled “Flow On” and in perhaps an even sicker collaboration teamed up with hip hop stars Grand Puba, Sadat X, AG, Diamond D, and fellow NBA player Dana Barros on a track called “Ya Don’t Stop.” Check out Ceballos’ music debut on the track “Flow On” below.

As you can see for yourself, Ceballos might rival the Dos Equis guy as the most interesting man in the world. Ceballos is currently a part owner and player of the Arizona Scorpions ABA franchise. Ceballos has been listed as inactive though because of a recent heart attack. Mr. Ceballos, we here at “Dusting Off The Old Sports Almanac” wish you a speedy recovery and hope you continue to shine as our most interesting man in the world.

Make sure to visit again tomorrow as we highlight former Chicago Bears wide receiver David Terrell.

I Am the Voice of this Motherf@$#ing Generation

Damnit, damnit, damnit! Excuse the profanity but this time of year really grinds my gears. I’m talking about the announcement of the Grammy nominations (cue pretentious hipster references here I can take it). Don’t get your hopes up though I’m not going to ramble on about who got left out. I’ll leave that to all other blogs complaining that Kanye’s oh so precious and perfect album was missing from the list and that is the biggest slap in the face to someone that has completely changed and revolutionized the music industry and for that matter the discourse of human history. Skrillex, you’re next.

Even though it appears the Grammy’s have wronged me through some heinous act, they are only a source of irritance for me. Who gave the Grammy voters credentials to quantitatively determine the artistic merits of one album over another. Is there a secret that the public doesn’t know that tells us why Skrillex is a better “new” artist than Foster the People? Who is Bruno Mars? Why didn’t Insane Clown Posse receive a nomination?

I want answers! The last time the Grammy’s made a relevant decision was back in 2009 when Robert Plant and Allison Kraus won best album of the year. I just don’t like Arcade Fire so I’m not going to call that a “win” for the “indie community.” I don’t want the “indie community” to win a Grammy, that will set the recognition of great music back even further by catering to a trendy demographic. Furthermore the fact that Lady Gaga and Rhianna have the chance to join the likes of Robert Plant in being categorized as groundbreaking music bothers me.

Plus, do we really need to stroke Kanye West’s ego anymore than we already have? I guess if we want to avoid the apocalypse in 2012, then we must.

Kanye West, you’re our only hope.

Train Blogging: Meeting People at Concerts

This past Saturday found my good buddy Jared and I at the Aragon Ballroom dancing our asses off to the Chicago prog-rock/funk/whatever you want to call them kings Umphrey’s McGee.  I could write this entire blog on how dirty Umphrey’s made the Aragon get, but instead I want to focus on one aspect of concert-going that I think can apply to pretty much any type of show you attend.

I’ve never seen any other gathering of people that produces the ease of conversing with a complete stranger than at a concert. I’ve been to a countless number of shows by myself and found people to talk to whether or not the music is playing. 

Even attending shows stone cold sober, it isn’t that difficult to pick up a conversation with the person next to you.  So what gives? When people are gathered together in the library you seldom hear, “hey bro that Ernest Hemingway novel is sick wait till you see what the old man does when he’s stuck out in the middle of the sea.” And at other mass gatherings like Occupy Wall Street rallies or Tea Party shindigs people are too pissed off to talk to complete strangers unless it’s yelling at them that it’s Obama’s agenda to destroy the very fabric of America.

First of all everyone attending a show is always in a good mood. Even when I saw the biggest dude’s pounding bottles of Captain Morgan like it was gatorade at Rage Against the Machine, they looked happy on the inside.

Hipster concerts are no exception either. Even though they will stand still, look at the floor, and act like they are too cool to be there, they secretly live for moments like that. Plus, you can always find a depressed looking Hipster at a show and talk about how great the band was before they sold out and started playing coffee houses instead of tea houses.

Still it really is a spectacle to experience. Try going to a show by yourself and you will instantly be able to find at least 5 other people that are there on their own as well. The easiest way to approach someone at a show is obviously talking about the band that’s playing. Even if you don’t have any knowledge about the show you’re attending, you can bond with someone over people watching at shows.

For those that have yet to attend a music festival (and I mean a real music festival not Lollapalooza) there’s a term to describe people that you only see at these events. Their called “festy kids” and they usually have long unwashed hair with a flat billed baseball hat, a backpack, and some crazy shirt on that you would never see anyone wear outside of a concert/college party.

I guarantee you pointing out the various outfits you see will have you wrapped up in conversation in mere minutes.  Chances are that you’ve already seen a good 30% of the people you’re discussing at other shows also.

Of course the exception to all this is a skrillex show. You can’t talk to people at his shows. Try having a conversation with your mother while a blender is going and an overstuffed laundry machine is violently shaking and you’ll understand why.

Top 5 Songs to Heat Up the Winter Months

In 2009 ABC published an article detailing the different tendencies in the conception of human beings (check it out here). Citing a federal study, August and September are the busiest months for child birth. Assuming that most of these births follow the natural 9 month pregnancy cycle, we can draw one conclusion. Now up until the end of January is when people are most likely to get it on and bring junior into the world. I have several different theories why this is. First, during the winter time people can’t stand to be outside for long periods of time so any outdoor activity you partake in is likely to be short. Compared to the summer, we spend much more time inside. Let’s be honest, you can only play Mario Strikers on Wii for so long before you get an urge to get freaky, especially when Wario keeps pulling cheap shots knocking you out of the Striker Cup.

Seeing that people are going to be spending more time inside of a private environment during the winter months, it would only make sense that they don’t have anything better to do than recreate their favorite Leonardo DiCaprio/Kate Winslet scene from Titanic. If you and your mate are in need of a little kick start or something to set the mood, here are 5 songs that should do the trick. DISCLAIMER while I cannot guarantee listening to these tunes will get you some action, it will work much better than offering to play “Master of Puppets” before getting down.

1. Frank Zappa – Dirty Love

Like spreading butter over some warm French Toast this song hits the spot. Interpret what dirty love is however you want but if this song doesn’t make your drawers drop, move on to the next one and they’ll be down to your ankles in no time.

2. Buena Vista Social Club – Chan Chan

Slow down and keep it silky smooth with this track from the Cuban outfit. I have no idea what they’re saying in this song but the slow rhythms and melodies in this song make me think the group knew exactly what it was doing when they wrote this song. The perfect track to set the mood before putting on the next song to get down to business.

3. The Jimi Hendrix Experience – 1983 (A Merman I Should Turn to Be)

Jimi you’ve done it again. Making you want to scream from a mountain top that you are a Golden God, this track keeps building and building until finally climaxing in a glorious arpeggiated outburst of epic melody that is then followed by a slow grooving comedown allowing you to catch your breath after the intensity of the moment passes.

4. Funkadelic – Maggot Brain

No words, no problem. Eddie Hazel’s guitar is straight up sex in itself. In fact I’m surprised this track hasn’t been used in an adult film. At 10 minutes long this is the perfect cut to raise the mercury level in your household’s thermometer.

5. Medeski Martin and Wood – Pappy Check

As Jemaine from Flight of the Conchords Said, “2 minutes in heaven is better than 1 minute in heaven. And 2 minutes with me is all your going to need because it’s so intense.” Coming in a little under 3 minutes this track is perfect for lying in bed with a cigarette post-coitus. This song may rival Zappa’s in terms of how dirty it is, this should be pulled out (no pun intended) as your closer coming in to seal the deal.

5 songs that will kill any mood you’ve set forth after these tracks (NEVER PLAY THESE AFTER PARTAKING!). Any Skrillex song, Foster the People – Pumped Up Kicks, The Clash – I Fought the Law, Lil Wayne – Fireman, any Skrillex song, Enya – Orinoco Flow. Did I mention Skrillex?